Not singing halleluiah for now

Reflecting for the past days have been helpful. I was able to answer questions myself since I can’t find it anywhere else. Also, I spent most of the time in Youtube searching for songs that I can connect with. Found a lot and downloaded them all. Now I find myself memorizing the lines and singing them non-stop in the washroom (I am such a concert queen, lol).

There’s a certain song that I had on repeat for a while. Not sure if you are familiar with the song “Delicate” by Damien Rice. The chorus line says, “Why’d you fill my sorrow with the words you borrowed from the only place you know, why’d you sing halleluiah if it means nothing to you, why’d you sing with me at all?”. Sad isn’t it? So I realized, I should not sing halleluiah for anyone at this time. I realized that after five relationships, (all failed, some tried to win me back but I do not give out second chances, I just don’t believe in them, once is enough two is too much) I should give my heart a break. Until when? I do not know, all I know is that I am not ready to date, to fall and love again. Got a lot of friends and great family members to focus on for now. Being single was my choice and being happy would be mine too. I want the next relationship to be the last and I need to be ready for it. My parents named me Joy, basically because I bought them Joy from day one and I was smiling since. A lot has commented that my “joy virus” in fact is contagious and it will always be. But how come I have hurt some people along the way by leaving them? Though I do not want to kill them with my dagger words, still it does not change the fact that I’ve hurt them.

Now I just need to be patient, days maybe long but I must perfect my baby steps until I’m full-grown.

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6 thoughts on “Not singing halleluiah for now

  1. Delicate is one of my Damien Rice favorites. In fact I just earlier posted Damien as one of my favorite guitarists. It’s a sad yet beautiful song.

    Joyce, I see that you’re in a delicate situation now. I just hope that you ‘handle yourself with care’ and position your box of hope ‘this side up’ (you know where it points 🙂 ) There’s more to life than love and heartaches for it doesn’t matter if you lived happily ever after, what matters is that you live. (got that from a movie somewhere)

    1. June, thank you so much. Do not worry, for I will not let myself down. I got great people around me like you who never fails to make me realize I can recover from all the things that happened. I love the my blogging community!

      “What does not kill us will only make us stronger and better” 🙂

      July (aka Joyce)

  2. I’m a huge fan of this troubadour!!! Where has he gone!? How I wish he comes up again, even with Lisa Hannigan’s departure. And yes, Delicate is an easy favorite.

      1. I actually have Lisa’s two albums. But yeah, how I wish they can just get all together again. 😦 The ensemble is really something something for it to have gone away. 😦

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