I’m turning 28 and I still don’t care

2143468Now my blog title may seem rude. It’s 3:13 AM and my eyelids are light as a feather. Please sleep, where are you when I needed you the most? Hmm… he’s gone and visited another soul in need of rest. (I guess?)

So back to my drama… I am having some birthday blues this early. But yeah, I learned that the greatest advice I can give to someone is to “not care at all”. Not care in a sense of not caring what the world will say about the things that you do. We will all learn from our experiences and honestly there are moments I feel I don’t really have a say when friends or loved ones ask me for an advice. It’s different when you are the one inside the box and the one standing outside the box.

I have always felt so carefree when I do not care or give a damn about what others will say. I SING, SCREAM, DANCE and JUMP, whenever and wherever I like. They may label me as crazy but I have freedom in my hands and if this is the way for me to really have a taste of it, then I let it be. Same goes with you! 99% of the people around us would not really care, so why worry? Worrying is such a killer! As Nike said, “JUST DO IT” and I have to add, STICK to it.

Be a happy pill like me! ♥

Where is Daraitan Falls?

Hi everyone! Summer 2013 was very memorable for me, again, I was not able to fulfill my dreams of staying at home to finish all my books. My friends and I went to visit Daraitan Falls last April 14, thanks girls for coming with me 🙂 The trip wouldn’t be uber fun without you.

Tinapak River (2)The heat was unbelievable but we are ready to conquer the day. We met the Barangay Captain of the area, thank you sir for welcoming us (kiddin’, he was really there before we came, having a talk with their barangay members). All foods ready! Let’s walk then!

Tinapak River (3) I can’t imagine there’s a place like this near our province. It was amazing like the other places I have been to. Okay, so here’s the real deal, when I invited my friends, I told them it was Daraitan Falls. Little did I know, it’s called Tinapak River and the Tinapak Falls was destroyed by Typhoon Ondoy last 2009. So that was like, 4 years ago!!! I cannot forget their faces when our tour guide explained that. Still, Tinapak River can be found at Daraitan… so they are still connected right? Haha!

Tinapak River (4) The whole group while taking a rest… our tourist guide, CK, Jude, Amie, Anna, Hilda, Ampy and Gen.

Tinapak River (5)A little adventure? Yes, we had that! And if you want one, why not visit the place?

Tinapak River (6) You can’t get to the other side without getting wet. 🙂

Tinapak River (7) First things first, SWIM!!! Oh the heat was really on! The river was a great place to swim and cool down. It was green, clear and inviting.

Tinapak River (8) Lunchtime girls! Overwhelming food, how can we finish these?

Tinapak River (9) So much for rock formations, I want to have a pictorial at every stone I see. They are all so white and pretty! We spent most of the time swimming, eating, exchanging stories and laughing.

Tinapak River (10)Our happiness was overwhelming, Hilda even bought a cake for this special event! FREEDOM at it’s finest.

Tinapak River (11)Yep, I can jump of a cliff whenever I want to. My legs always shake before I do these things, but I can’t let them pass. My blood calls for adrenaline 🙂

Tinapak River (12) The Megastar Ampy sitting on top of the cliff… this was the only place where you can find a signal for Globe.

Tinapak River (13) Look how clear and clean the water is!

Tinapak River (14) Gen, floating 🙂

Tinapak River (15) Anna, Jude, Amie and Gen having a real good time talking about some stuff.

Tinapak River (16) View from a far, I swam to the other side just for this shot. Time to get mushy… when I saw them so happy, just chillin’, I can’t thank the Lord above for giving me such kind and soulful friends. These girls helped me a lot when I needed them. Those times when I felt life was draining me to pieces, they were there. When I needed encouragement, they were there and they never left my side. Up to now, I can’t thank them enough, I just love this group.

Tinapak River (17) One of my fave picture, it was hard to achieve since I need to swim against the current. I see that it’s worth it.

Tinapak River (18) Spell F-U-N!!!

Tinapak River (19) Whohoooo! I made this! I am proud of myself, haha! My very first rock formation! Lol!

Tinapak River (20) Now it’s time to head back to the barangay…

Tinapak River (21)

Rocks rocks rocks, rocks everywhere!

Tinapak River (22)We fit the holes perfectly 🙂

Tinapak River (23)To those who want to visit, the Daraitan Road is a long one, just continue driving until you reach this bridge. If I remember it right, we asked 5 times where’s Daraitan, they all just pointed “straight ahead”, lil’ did we know it was a long long way down there.

Tinapak River (24)Of course, a trip would not be complete without visiting Vista Barista Cafe. A stop over all tourists must try! Coffees, pasta and cakes were affordable and they tasted so good. Hoping the next time I visit, I will be able to speak and have a few words with the owner.

Tinapak River (25)

Since it was Sunday, we also visited Baras Church.

Tinapak River (26) We even met the Parish priest who opened the doors of the Church for us. Thank you thank you Father, you are blessed!

Tinapak River (27)

A perfect way to close the night, videoke baby! After that, some left… Hilda and Gen slept at my room 🙂

So where exactly is Daraitan Falls? It’s in my heart.

Weekly Photo Challenge: In the Background

2013-05-26 23.06.16The theme made me realize how much I love to be in the background. You know, just being a wallflower, watching how people talk to each other and the like. Being alone makes me more connected to life I guess. At some point, I can almost lip read… notice a stranger whisper “I love you” to his loved one and she smiles back, her heart beating triple time. When I’m in the background, I get lost and deep, I can write poetry, words flow continuously and my thoughts are all up in the air.

Try it, have a self date like what I do most of the time and just sit for an hour. Do not speak, just watch how things move in motion… soon you will be addicted. Freedom at its finest 🙂

Pain – C. JoyBell C.

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”

 

Stop and stare

For some time, I became a prisoner of own

Not knowing where to run because I keep on holding on

To things I thought existed

Like a the sun in the winter’s sky

It came to me, I have to let go

I stopped, stared and looked in the mirror

I was nowhere to be found, so I decided to break it

Hundreds of pieces scattered as my hands bleed

That point in time, I was freed

***Poetry inspired by the music of One Republic***

My Dad and my freedom

When I was a younger, something bad happened. At such age, there’s only one thing I know I had to do to make me feel better. Sneaked up in my dad’s bedroom, tucked myself beside him and cried endlessly until I was asleep. It was hell and heaven at the same time. Hell because of the bad things and heaven because I have a dad who truly loves us deeply.

When my heart was broken for the first time, I found myself in the same scenario. My dad has never been good with opening up his feelings I guess. All he said was “My child, if he was meant for you, love will come back”. The words seem to float on air as I cried it all out in his arms again but I believed him. It was heartache and hope at the same time. Heartache for a love lost and hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Yesterday, I felt so different… suddenly, I can’t take it no more. My lies, my pain and how I hated myself to the core. I was in the car seated between my parents, dad was on my right and his arms was stretched out so I can rest my head there. I am not so sure if he felt I was breaking apart into a thousand pieces. I gathered up courage and prayed to God so hard that not a tear will escape my eyes. But they swelled in an instant and before it runs down my cheek, I wiped them out. My brothers and sisters were in the car as well, the last thing I want them to see is their “happiest sister breaking down”. There are people like my family who draws strength from me. I kill sad cells and replace them with happy ones.

My happiness have always been contagious most people say, and at that moment, I WAS NOT HAPPY, I AM NOT HAPPY AT ALL. I am losing the battle inside me, I want to run from everything though deep inside, I know I can’t.

Today is my dad’s birthday. When I opened my eyes, I felt my abnormal heartbeat again. Every minute it is eating me up. NOW, I need to be brave and do this, once and for all, for my freedom, though the thought of leaving someone kills me inside.

“Of all the battles I have lost, losing myself should not be one of them.”