Leave your walls broken as it is
Because hiding wouldn’t help
Feel beautiful with all the scars and marks
Be it fresh or old, shallow or deep
Your pain makes you who you are.
She ran away as fast as she could
Until she can no longer feel her feet touching the ground
The numbness, the light feeling, it was great
The cloud tasted of cotton candy, the wind was somewhat cold against her bare skin
Then it started raining
In an instant the gravity was pulling her back
With a big thump she landed back on earth
Her face covered with thick mud
Her eyelids felt heavy
Salty tears started to roll down her eyes
That’s when she realized
She’s exactly where she should be
Back in the hands of reality
Where everything bites, until you can bleed no more
It started up with a small chip of mistake
We didn’t let it go
Until it tore our trust apart
Another chip on the end
That was caused by unwanted jealousy
Then triggered anger and hate
In time, the crack reached the middle of the table
In one wrong move, it fell
Thousands of small glass on the floor
Neither one of us wanted to pick the pieces
As we slowly walk away from each other
We bleed and cry
“The Silent Killer”
The most painful goodbye for me are the quiet ones where no words were whispered. You were just left hanging on air. You keep on guessing why and how it came to a point where silence meant “the end”. Compare it with a resounding goodbye. At least you have something to remember that yes, the other person left for good. Because the word goodbye came out of their lips, travelled in the air, passed through your ears, processed in your brains and hit your heart straight to the core.
So if you want to leave someone, tell them, let them hear it. Be brutal if you must even once in your life though you don’t want to. It will hurt like all the broken promises but better than to keep them guessing right? Remember, not all people are mind readers, give them the freedom they deserve. Do not worry for they will heal no matter what happens.
I doodle a lot. It does not matter where, these are my thoughts running and I want to catch them like colorful butterflies and keep them in a jar. If you have anything to share or have any questions in mind, please feel free to comment. Thank you ♥
Then from time to time, it develops into something real. You learn to let go of all your pasts and just realize “Hey, this one is worth taking”. So we throw away all the fears, endless doubts and start to walk down the long black tunnel again.
Some tunnels are long and hard to get out to but we continue to paint things on our own one step at a time. When we reach the end we feel so glad we decided to leave that black hole and decided to free ourselves. The lights may blur our vision for a moment, but there’s someone standing in front of us, reaching for us saying “I will never ever leave, that’s infinite.”
Times like this, when I feel my heart is sinking into the bottom of the sea, I sit at coffee shops, alone. I leave my books, Ipod and other things that can cause distractions. I have created this habit of staring at people and making conversations in my head. He saying “I love you” and she whispering “I love you too!”. You can tell how one feels on how their body reacts. How the universe pulls them closer to the person where they get their energy from. They are full of happiness and compassion.
On the other hand, what I hate most is when I see another person, alone, crying talking to someone over the phone. It makes me want to sit right next to them, hug them and look deep into their eyes so I can feel the pain of what they are going through. But of course that’s invasion of privacy. So what do I do? Offer small prayers and love verses… and end it with, “This too shall pass, like any other moment”. After that, I stand up and leave, hoping the wind will bring my message to that person.
There she is sitting pretty in her book
The book that I gave her
How can she glow when I am so broken?
My shattered heart cannot take it
But the world still pulls me in her direction
My feet walked towards her
I do not know what to say
She looked up
Her eyes so brown and deep
“How can you leave me like this?”
I asked in silence
Heaven does not hear my woes
No answer, just plain quietness
I am so mad
Mad at things but not at her
How can I hate such a beautiful creature?
She, who stole my heart away
But then decided to break it anyway
She was the star that I used to know
The star that I can never have, again