Heaven is on your side Gee

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Let me pour my heart out, I’m bleeding and it won’t stop. 4th of July should be full of fireworks and excitement, this one however is not. Today, I lost my dear friend Rio, I often call her Gee and she does the same. She was my first close girl friend on my first call center job. As years pass, I know she’s one of those “friends for keeps in a lifetime”. We HAD so many memories together: laughter, tears, pain, heartaches, rain, sunshine, all combined. She was even the reason why I was able to work in Dubai. But out of all, there’s one instance I will never ever forget. It was a normal day and she said “Gee, I don’t have a sister, but if I have one, I would pick you”. So that simple sentence as you see meant so much to me, for I know it came from her pure heart. Life is full of miracles, God gave me another sister.

Now that she’s gone physically, my heart won’t just accept it. Leukemia took her away at a young age. As a nurse, I may happen to know the griefing process and the DABDA stages. The only problem is, she’s so close to me, we treated each other like real sisters, and at this moment, I am torn between Denial and Acceptance.

There are many situations in life when I always say to myself, “I am bigger than my worries and problems”, this time… I need to cry it all out, the positive cheerleader inside of me is silent. For my heart is aching, the heavens are crying for losing one great angel.

To my Dearest Gee, I know you can hear me and you can read this. My words will never be enough, thank you for making me a part of your life. 6 years of deep friendship may not be enough but it was worth it. Thank you for all the happy memories, YOU are now truly an angel. God will take care of you and He has now given you wings to fly… be free and light as you wish to be. I love you my friend, sister, my one and only Gee.

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Lost

For some reason, I found myself yesterday staring at my glow in the dark star wall for about 15 minutes straight. Didn’t feel my eyes blink at all, then it became heavy, I was consumed with so much emotion the tears started to flow.

Was it because of unknown circumstances or things I refuse to face? I’m back at the black hole, no light no air and it suffocates me. Questions arise in my mind like wildfire, leaving no trace to help me find the answers.